Inevitably Sick

Based on my previous responses that I wrote about stress (here: http://www.collegetips.com/blog/gloriosity/my-stressors-1387 and here: http://www.collegetips.com/blog/gloriosity/stressed-symptoms-1391), I was bound to get sick one way or the other.

Being sick is the worst; not to mention,  colds and flus have a funny way of hitting you right in the middle of midterms (or even worse – finals), important papers/homework assignment, or other important school or work related events. I have a homework assignment due tonight and another due tomorrow, but I will be at work all day tomorrow so it has to be done tonight. I already have a hard enough time focusing on homework but now it’s worse since my throat is on fire, my nose won’t stop dripping, and my body is cold and hot at the same time! Sounds real attractive, right? The best part: I keep coughing up phlegm!

Haha but to have a silver lining, you have to have a cloud first. I stayed home this morning instead of volunteering at the beach and I got to watch TV shows, movies, and catch up on my favorite drama. I also consoled my best friend, who’s grandmother passed away this morning. And of course, I got to drink some nice tea and write out this blog post!

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Stay healthy guys and have a great weekend! See you tomorrow!

Stressed Symptoms

I get head-aches, my heart starts being faster, and I weirdly feel extremely hungry every time I think of all of my homework. To relieve my stress symptoms, I look for ways to distract myself instead of focusing on what I need to do. I find it ironic that the solution to my stress is to work on my homework, but instead I am doing anything but the very thing that will relieve my stress. For example, I have been playing Pokémon on my brother’s phone when I should be working on my homework and/or studying. I will go on Facebook when I know I should be catching up on my reading. I feel much more discouraged these days and extremely unmotivated. This has been the most unsettling symptom of all. I normally project a positive and happy vibe, but now I feel nothing but empty hollow uselessness.

I almost forgot to mention that I have never had these many pimples on my face. Everyone around me has noticed them (or are too nice to say anything). My family has pointed the pimples out to me multiple times and they are concerned. My boyfriend also mentioned that I must be really stressed out because in the two and a half years we have been together, he has never seen my skin look this bad. I feel heavier – my chest in particular. I noticed that my shoulders have been aching sine I have been slouching more and my posture seems to has lost its strength. I definitely feel like I am aging, and much faster than I should be.

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Time for bed! Good night! Sleep tight! Chin up, and keep smiling!

My Stressors

My most frequent stressor these days has been the different deadlines that I have had to meet for school. Even though my calendar does not say that I have assignments due every day, it feels like I do. I do not feel like I ever have a day to myself. It has been the center of my anxiety and I have been procrastinating more than I ever have before. My homework has been taking up all of my time outside of school and it has upset my boyfriend that I do not make time for him. This has also upset me because I have not been able to have “me time,” since all of my time is dedicated to studying.

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The second most frequent stressor has been thinking about my future. I have many external stressors in my life right now, especially financial. I recently applied for a scholarship to pay my $700 tuition fees, and if I do not win this scholarship, I am not sure what I am going to do. My mother keeps asking me for money, that I do not have and it has been worrying me very much. She has also been pestering me to find a real full-time job. I am torn between what I want to do and what I need to do. I have tried to avoid thinking about it as much as possible but this has just made it worse.

It has been very hard to stay focused and this has been the root of the problem. Hopefully, I will be able to buckle down tomorrow but I think I am done for tonight. I think I need sleep and rest so that I can tackle everything head-on tomorrow! Good night! Chin up, everyone! And keep smiling!

One Last True Necessity

Heyllooo everyone!

So as the title obviously states, I just got my first pair of Hunter rainboots ever!
I really needed them for the upcoming weather I would be experiencing up in Seattle, as Fall and Winter are quickly approaching. I am honestly super happy with my purchase of one pair of rainboots and one pair of gorgeous white, crocheted inserts.

I am now officially ready to move to Seattle! :)

I think the best part is that my feet are small enough to fit into the kid’s size shoes, which means…. CHEAPER SHOES!
If you didn’t know already, adult women’s rain boots from Hunter at a minimum price of $148.00, without tax. With my kid’s size ones, however, ALONG WITH the $45.00 inserts, we payed a total of $120.00(!!!!!). Both of those combined added up to less than one pair of the regular adult ones. Also, the funnier part is that the children’s boots fit better on me, length-wise. These rain boots also last much longer than the average rubber shoe, as the rubber does not dry up and crack, making these super durable. So overall, I am so so thrilled!

However, I can’t help but feel absolutely horrible about this splurging on a pair of shoes and socks because just yesterday, my family was shocked with some terrible news (that I’d rather not share at the moment). We are experiencing some hard times financially, and although I had been looking to buy rain boots for some time, I still feel really bad about today’s purchase… *Please keep us in your thoughts and/or prayers, even though you don’t know me on a personal level. I can’t thank you enough!*

It was really crazy. My mom came home for a few minutes during work (because she’s the owner, my mom can leave the coffee stand and take little breaks while my dad looks after it solo, and vice versa!) before we were hit with the bad news, and she was so happy and we laughed and had a lot of fun together just within those 15 minutes. The next time I saw her, about an hour and a half later, she had a blank face, looked so incredibly exhausted both mentally and physically, and I almost couldn’t believe that we had laughed earlier that day. It absolutely broke my heart. Lesson learned; anything and everything can change in a matter of minutes, so be thankful every second of your life.

A picture of my new Hunter rain boots! I’m in love~! ^^
My rain boots with the Welly socks on! So cozy and cute, right? ^^

Friends?

When I decided to attend a college that was eight hours away from home, I knew I was leaving behind a social life that  I had developed for fourteen years of my life(My family moved when I was four). All of the friends and relationships I formed would be left in Pennsylvania, and I would be heading to North Carolina alone. When I moved down here, I was starting from scratch. At first, I stuck with what I knew. I associated with the music kids upstairs because I had been a musician all through out high school. After the first couple days, I expanded and got to know the people on my floor and finally I joined some clubs that I would have never thought I do. I prepared all my senior year for music auditions, and I currently am focused on fencing skills. All the coffees I bought my percussion instructor to pay for music lessons mean nothing now because I am not in anything music related. Instead I am an athlete. I never wanted to do sports in high school and thought I never would. Boy, I was wrong. I have this who new sports centered social circle. It’s weird.

 

That is not the point of this post though. In the last few days, I have hit a roadblock of sorts. I am creating all these great relationships, but I am afraid to title them. This girl from my floor and I have become extremely close, but I have yet to call her my best friend. When I think of my best friend, I think of my one back home.  I know you can multiple best friends, but it still feels like betrayal to my home friends to call this girl my best friend. But she is though. We eat together, go to class, study, workout, etc. By all definitions of the word, she is my best friend. Yet I cannot bring myself to tell other people. In high school, I could change mind sets  and interact with a ton of social groups. But now that I have two very different social groups, my home social group and my college social group, I don’t know how to change mindsets. And I don’t know how I feel about titles.

What I Learned in High School Pt. 5

Heyllooo again!
YES I am BACK with my fifth installment of the “What I Learned in High School” series!

Today’s lesson I learned in high school (and recently realized the importance of) is:
Make strong and genuine connections with upperclassmen.

What I mean by this: While it is also imperative that you make good friends in your age group, I also believe that it is important to expand at least a little past your comfort zone in order to meet some peers that are older than you.

How you can get started: (the easiest way, in my humble opinion!) Join a club or program at your school that is open to all age ranges, whether it be freshmen to seniors. This is personally how I reached out and found a bunch of older friends that I still talk to this day!

For me, I never felt like I fit in with peers in my age range. Everyone always told me that I was too mature for my age, and that that was the reason why I may have felt this way. Consequently, I felt like I could really be myself when I was around the Seniors as a freshman. Although it was rough after they all graduated that year, I remember feeling really thankful for having them for a number of reasons.

  • They knew all of the ropes of the school, and could help me out whenever I had questions or was struggling
  • They’d previously taken a lot of the same or similar courses as I was enrolled in, and probably had some of the same teachers. They told me some “insider” tips on how the teacher functions, and how to study difficult topics.
  • They really stood up for me when I got bullied, and it was very effective as the inexplicably “authoritative aura” they possessed overpowered my bully.
  • They’re just generally wiser about school since they’ve already been through it, and it’s so helpful to just pick up some advice!

Also, if the upperclassman happens to be a sibling of yours, take advantage of that HUGE…..advantage! He or she is literally family, and they will help you. Probably even more than your friends!

A few days ago, I really saw the long-term effect of having older friends that last. One of my peers from Governing Board (Senior when I was a Freshman) attends a university in the same city as I will be, and since she’s already been there for about 3 years, she knows the area like a pro. She offered me a coffee date with her where we’d just catch up on all the missed years together and explore the city, and gave me her number. I totally wasn’t expecting this, but I feel SO blessed to at least know someone is there for me in a close vicinity. See how it can change your life? :)

Goodbye to My Brother!

Heyllo everyone!

Well, as you guys have probably anticipated with my last posts, it was finally time to say goodbye to my one and only brother! It was definitely as hard as I thought it would be… It still hasn’t really hit me that I won’t see him for 3 months, and it really hasn’t hit me that I’m leaving in less than 2 weeks for my first term of the first year of college, and that I won’t see my Mom, Dad, or puppy for 3 months either…

My brother is now entering his third year of college as a human physiology major, and he’s also working as a FRA, which entitles him to carry out the (very difficult and demanding) duties of being a floor R.A, along with teaching a chemistry class… He really doesn’t even have to work on or off campus as he already receives a full-ride to his university, but yet he still works harder than students who depend on the jobs! I’m so proud of him, but I have NO idea how he’s going to balance all of that along with the regularly rigorous schoolwork, as well as preparing for the MCAT… WHOO! Just thinking about all of that makes me feel sick!

Anyways, if saying goodbye to my brother was that hard and chock-full with tears, I honestly don’t want to think about saying goodbye to the rest of my family… :'(

Countdown: 12 days.

Worried About Welcome Week…

Feeling Alone in a Crowd…

Heyllooo everyone! So…Is it weird that I’m actually terrified about welcome week? I’ve known for a while that I’ve had a mild case of anxiety from openly social interactions, but as the time for moving in and getting settled at school gets closer each day, the more anxious I get and the more I dread it. It’s not that I’m not excited about going to school, per say, but more because I’m afraid I won’t make any friends, and end up being the loner girl… It’s still really hard for me to open up and be my “true self” around people I just met because of all of the social trauma that still affects me… Hopefully I’m able to adjust quickly and feel more comfortable, however, since this is a clean slate for me… Habits are SCARY. I used to be an extremely outgoing girl, and then towards the middle/end of high school, I became an introvert! When I was an extrovert, it was so natural and easy for me to meet new people and be immersed in a foreign place without feeling very nervous. As an introvert, it’s so incredibly hard for me to break out of this shell and bring back out the extrovert in me that was so easy at one point… Wish me luck as I enter a new sea of people, and pray that I can finally be myself again! :O

How do you cope with stress and failure?

“I was hurt and shocked. My thoughts were racing and I felt my body starting to shut down. I could feel my eyes welling with tears and as hard as I tried to stop them, they came pouring out.”

Does this sound familiar? Many students will go through a phase like this during their collegiate years. I know I have. Whether it be a break-up with your first college love, bombing an exam, actually failing a class, or anything else that can happen in the four years that you are in school, it is natural to have these moments and will help build the foundations of the person you will one day become.

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My first suggestion would be is to cry. I have cried more than a few more times because of grades, finals, and work. It is a good thing to just let it all out. Bottling it in will only make it worse. Find what works for you. I like to take long drives, blasting music in my car. And just know that eventually there will be a day when the failure and/or unsuccessful attempt won’t be hard to swallow and you will completely move on from it.

With that being said, after the mental and physical agony, it is healthy to learn from your mistakes and to be your own optimistic and positive cheerleader. Find all the silver linings in your cloud! A profound university leader once told me: “You have to have a cloud first before you can have a silver lining.” I am a firm believer of the sayings:

  • “Everything happens for a reason.”
  • “When one door closes, another one opens.”
  • “Good things have to fall apart for even better things to come together.”
  • “Good things come to those who wait, better things comes to those who don’t give up, and the best things come to those who believe.”

Lastly, you are never alone. Keep smiling. Let it go and keep moving forward!

The Final Weekend with My Brother

Heyllooo everyone!

This weekend will be one to *hopefully* remember, as it is the last time I will see my older brother until Thanksgiving  break, and even that’s wishful thinking! I have no idea if we’re even doing anything fun or exciting, but perhaps we’ll take a bunch of memorable photos and play lots of video games like the strange siblings we are~!

It’s so weird because I feel like I’m the ONLY one left in my hometown…everyone has already left for college or started school. I almost feel like I should be there already! But to be perfectly honest, I am fully enjoying every moment of being around my family while I can, since I won’t see them for an extended period of time as well…

I am working on teaching my mom and dad things that they need a little assistance with, such as turning on/properly utilizing Skype, using their emails more effectively and efficiently, and various other more “technological” things they may need assistance with.

We’re starting the weekend off with some gourmet Chinese food for dinner, fruity sorbets, and simply watching TV. As long as it’s done together, we really don’t care what we do :)
Sorry about all of the family oriented posts lately– It’s the main thing that crosses my mind nowadays…