Breaking the bad news to Jessica

I’ve blogged many times about how crazy Jessica is but she still is one of my good friends so this was really hard. We all have a group text and she was initially in it but then left it without saying anything to us. She definitely distances herself from us because she’s involved in other things too … But still. She could easily hang out with us more than she does. Over the summer I probably talked to her the most and that really wasn’t that much. We all discussed getting a house altogether senior year and since she was never in the chat, we kind of left her behind and wasn’t too sure of her plan. Regardless though, to me I always thought the house talk included Jessica. I don’t know if I was being stupid and didn’t realize but they never said a house without Jessica. The thing is most houses are for 8 people and with Jessica it’s 9. She hangs out with us the way least and everyone was unsure of her game plan for senior year. I feel bad because she’s mentioned next year while I still didn’t know she’s included and I hadn’t said anything. I remember explicitly Lauren asking the group if Jessica plans on living with us and Amy and Brittany both said wed see and I said I know she loves our apartment now and wants to live with us. That was a couple weeks in the year too. It became more of a reality about houses as we were pushing house hunting (something I still haven’t done at all). And we all knew we had to get more serious about it before its too late to get one. When we were starting to get offers when other people went, we knew we had to tell Jessica sooner than later that she might want to consider other options for housing since 8 seemed to be the number. She seemed to take it well at first but last night she had a talk with us. She explained how Hurt she was and listed all these problems that we didn’t even think of. I felt absolutely horrible. She was balling her eyes out and I didn’t even know what to say. It was one of the hardest things to talk about because I can’t imagine what I’d do if that happened to me. Yes, she sort of did it to herself but she didn’t deserve this. She kept saying how we should have told her sooner and she’s totally right but it was still so uncertain before. It only recently because more clear there was more room for her. So that happened last night and I still feel bad. I want to have an individual talk with her since we got so much closer this year and have had convos alone that I want to address. It’s gonna be hard but I owe her an explanation and apology. I know she thinks I knew this all alone and lied and hid it from her but I honestly thought she was living with us up till recently. Ugh I hate this.

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