Weight talk

It’s been a little while so you can’t get on my case for talking about weight!! I got down to 5 pounds away from my goal weight when I went back to school. I still thought I looked great but the extra 5 pounds would be that extra push that would make me feel totally confident. Well I guess I took my successes for granted and over syllabus week, between drinking and my MASS amount of drunk binge eating, I gained a whopping 10 pounds. I was devastated and discouraged. I too blame this on disregarding the scale all week which let me get out of control. I made a rule that I MUST weigh myself every single day no matter what… Even if I binge eat. That will make me accountable for my options. Anyway, I decided I needed a change and after weeks of losing pounds and then just gaining it back on the weekend with the alcohol and drunk eating. Then, I really promised myself that I CAN’T keep doing this to myself. Eating late at night that I barely remember and even makes me sick is TOTALLY not worth how upset I get the next morning. I know if I was gonna get to where I want to be, I need to cut out the drunk eating. I always talk about it but I really really need to harness that. It’s unreasonable to think I won’t get drunk in college but the damage will lessen SO much if I don’t eat. Plus, I feel better and less hungover if I don’t eat so this mind game I play with myself that it’ll make me feel better in the morning is bs. I had to channel all these thoughts and prepare myself ahead of time. It has worked thus far but it’s really difficult to see if ill crack or not. I’m trying to just not get that drunk so I have self control still. I’m SO much happier when I’m at my ideal weight. I think it’s your best accessory and everything looks better on you when you cut those extra pounds. I really put my priorities in place and I’m HOPING this will cure me of my “disorder” (I call this my mental disorder because when I drink I have a mindset of a fat chick where food is everything). I’m praying I can control this and be back to where I feel confident again. I miss that and just want to be in that place again… More than any kind of food in the world. Just need to keep that in mind.


Leave a Reply