Dedication

As Thanksgiving break is approaching, I’m really pushing hard to cut those last couple of pounds. Also, since I’m going home, I have more time to lose the weight without having the pressure of going out and drinking. The last 5 pounds are the absolute hardest and you really need to work to get there. I’m glad I’m semi close to my goal weight because I really got chubbier over the summer and it was embarrassing for all the people at home see me get that large because I worked SO hard the summer before to get skinny and people noticed that I did, but then I blew IT and blew UP even worse than I was before. I don’t ever want to go back to that place again. If I think of all the binge eating and poor dieting choices I made, though, it sickens me. I was scarfing down food for the sake of it and was not conscious of my food choices at all. I either go all in or all out clearly because I’m so strict now when I’m focused but when I decide “f*ck it!!” then I go crazy. I just need to keep my eye on the prize and stay determined, Even when I get to my goal weight I need to be mindful what I’m eating so the numbers don’t creep up again. I’m telling you there’s nothing more disappointing then completely spoiling all the hard work you’ve put it. I’ve gone through it 2 times and it is truly devastating. I don’t want to have to spend next summer extremely dieting and avoiding going out so I can lose weight. Once I’m at my goal I’ll have some more leeway and that’s what I want! Like losing weight requires SO much more hard work than maintenance. I’m PRAYING this break will get me back to the place I want to be- or at least close. I’m hopeful !!

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