What I Learned in High School Pt. 1

Hello beautiful people!

So as promised, this is my first installment of the “What I Learned in High School” series!
Today’s piece of wisdom: Do not invest all of yourself into one or two people.

This is probably going to sound pretty cold and possibly even pessimistic, but from my personal experience, this may be one of the most important piece of advice in this series. (This can totally apply to any age group!) If you have a super duper close friend, and you’ve been close since the beginning of time and you feel like you’d never get sick of them, that’s sincerely great! But make sure that you do not become completely dependent on that one person. Make friends with others too, enough that if you are in a hypothetical situation where your bestie is sick and gone for a week, you wouldn’t be lonely and could have fun with others too. I’m saying this out of pure consideration for you, who is reading this.

This is going to be a pretty personal story, and it’s a little hard for me to share, but I hope it can convey the importance of this!

I had been absolute best friends with this one girl, let’s call her… Amanda, just for confidentiality’s sake– since the 7th grade. We were basically the same person. We did everything together, were attached at the hip, and our similarities were astounding. Perhaps you’ve had/have a friend like this and can relate! This kind of friendship is truly a one-in-a-million opportunity, and often can be a huge source of happiness or purpose for someone. We depended on each other, confided in one another, and were honestly closer than sisters. With that being said, I’m sure you can guess where this anecdote is headed…

You guessed it! I started noticing striking differences between us after our junior year in high school. I tried really hard to understand them, somehow make them seem trivial compared to the years of friendship we had behind us. As dramatic as it may sound, the distance between us was far too blatant to be ignored, and I was hurt in many ways when I quickly saw our long-term friendship come to a dead end.

Now here comes the “naggy” part.
I had a terrible Senior year as a result of this. Since our friendship disintegrated the summer before my final year in high school, and I had foolishly invested all of my time and care into just that one friend alone, I went back into a school filled with 2,000 strangers and had never felt so alone. Of course I had a few other friends, but they were the kind that I couldn’t really strike up long conversations with; just the casual “hey” when we passed each other in the halls.

If you’re wondering why I couldn’t just make new friends, I had developed severe trust issues because of one of the incidents (I can’t really talk about) that I had with “Amanda,” and therefore it was even harder for me to try and expand my social circle.

WHEW! That was super long for me… if you’ve read this far, congratulations & thank you!
So long story short, do yourself a favor and do not invest all of yourself into one (or even two) friends!

Several of the hundreds of notes I've sent & received from "Amanda"
Several of the hundreds of notes I’ve sent & received from “Amanda”

About Phoebe Kim

Hello fellow bloggers! My name is Phoebe Kim, and I am an incoming freshman in college this year at Seattle University. A couple facts about myself: - I am from Salem, Oregon - I am 100% Korean in blood but I can fluently speak, read, and write in both Korean and English, and I dabble in Spanish as well! - I am super ordinary, and am very excited to blog here!!!

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